about the album |
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In April 2007 I had a near death experience. The back of my head was scraped by the bullet of a sniper in South London. That served as a turning point that sparked a course of events that lead to the creation of this album.
I just stopped! . |
I submerged myself in existential questioning. What was I doing in my life, why wasn’t I achieving those lofty goals I had set for myself and thought I deserved? Why was I stuck and couldn’t move on neither personally nor professionally? I went on a pilgrimage in September 2007, came back and decided I needed to lock myself away and write music, on my own, no collaborations. My insides were screaming at me to be authentic and purposeful. I had to know if I really had any talent or if all this pursuit of recognition as an artist had been based on fear and insecurity in which case I had to let it all go.
The result is these songs written between October 2007 and February 2008. |
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Neil, who produced this album, had been my guitar teacher. I knew he was also a very accomplished musician and producer, and it was with some trepidation that I asked him to listen to my early demos.
As it turns out his wife found the CD in his car, listened to it and then handed it to him and said there was something special there.
Thank you Julie! Neil agreed to produce the album, and over weekends in the spring and summer of 2008 we met, recorded, listened, mixed and cried.. well I did at least! |
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I was amazed that he produced what I heard inside my head. It all culminated with a cracking celebratory gig in November 2008.
Early 2009 saw great MySpace feedback and early industry meetings which looked promising. Mark Lord came on board and mixed and mastered early versions of Ivory Tower and Not Alone (then called Crying) which I promptly self released. I decided to do a mini tour in London to get audience feedback. |
Hard work but glorious fun. We also shot the brilliant video to Ivory Tower and I felt like I was on my way to the top. After several years in the business I was finally going to get my break! |
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Then it all crashed. Those who were early supporters turned into sharks and I was consequently hacked apart- who was I, what kind of artist, what kind of sound was this etc etc. Doors slammed shut everywhere I turned. I was stunned.
I was already broke from putting all my efforts into sustaining myself whilst writing and producing this project. It nearly also broke my spirit to imagine that I would have to give up the dream of releasing my own album.
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In the autumn of 2009, after a few months in stunned silence, I decided that I had to find a way to finance the mixing and mastering of the whole album and self release it. I couldn't live with myself if I left this unfinished. I finally let go of the need to be associated with 'hot shots' and just wanted to honour the album for what it is- great music.
I contacted Mark Lord to see what kind of a deal we could strike. |
It turned into a much better one than I had expected. I did not know that, apart from being a brilliant mastering and mixing engineer, Mark also ran his own label, and he turned around and offered to release the album. |
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From January to April 2010 Mark and I set about remixing the album, now informed by all the previous two years' events. |
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It was an amazingly liberating, creative and enjoyable process where Mark and I truly bonded. The result is an evocative, fragile, powerful and glorious album that I can only feel a privilege to have written and be part of.
I truly feel that I have served my muse to the very utmost of my human capability. I share it with you in joy, love and gratitude and hope that it will inspire you to dream, live to your fullest capacity and above all love. |
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